Pretty Girls in Wet Dresses
by CandyKaBOOM
Summary: Hatter leaves Alice and heads back home to Wonderland-only Wonderland isn't what he was expecting. Jack's reign is even worse than his mother's and his obsession with Alice has gone too far. Hatter/OC.
1. Chapter 1

Hatter stormed out of the small apartment he and Alice had been sharing for the better part of a year. He pulled a black fedora over his head roughly and muttered angrily to himself as he set out with a purpose. The first few months after he had followed her back through the looking glass were bliss. Alice's so-called commitment problems were non-existent as their relationship went from new love to moving in together within a week. They spent at least three weeks on a kind of honeymoon. Alice showed him the sights during the day and at night you couldn't get a toothpick between them. After a while though, Alice had to go back to working at the martial arts studio and Hatter found himself working at a small dry-cleaning place (as he had experience with many fine things, including coats and hats of course).

About six months into the relationship things started to get strangely awkward. They shared many interests but the aspects of every one of their interests differed in slight ways that built up and caused tension. Alice's job as a martial arts teacher made her as interested in fighting as Hatter was; only she was tactile, smooth, and calm. Hatter would lose his top if pushed in the right direction and he was all fists going into a fight. They both loved to laugh but Hatter was easily amused while Alice seemed to only cave to the wittiest of company. They both preferred nights out adventuring to nights in, but could not for the life of them agree on where to go. He found all of these differences charming while she found them downright enraging at times.

But to tell the truth, the straw that broke the camel's back was the constant fight for the dominant role in the relationship. He was in her world and she seemed awfully smug about it. There wasn't anything she couldn't control, so she went ahead and took full control of everything. He could vaguely remember when she was in Wonderland needing him to help her walk along the edges of the city, saving her from their enemies numerous time…he missed being able to feel like a man to her. Every choice made and every conversation; bets on her being a better fighter than him, and then the sex—always had to be on top! Okay, so that might have just sounded whiney, but it had gotten old.

Hatter stuck around for about six months of that hell before Alice insulted him outright one day. He decided right then that he would take his hat and head back home to Wonderland. He was tired of being looked down on, being a stranger in a foreign world that was not as accepting as he had hoped; he was tired of being _David_.

So he walked, headed for the looking glass so he could go back to where he really belonged. It would be easy enough, he had acquired plenty over the past year but the only things he took with him now was his hat, the clothes on his back, and a ring he was thumbing in his jacket pocket. No, it wasn't the "Ring of Wonderland," it was the quaint little diamond that he had bought Alice before everything went to shit. He never even got to ask her…

It wasn't long before Hatter was turning into the alley toward the giant mirror. He leaned against the wall across from it and only had to wait ten minutes until someone was tripping their way out of it, trying to catch their breath. The man who came out had the body-type of an older teenager and had a weasel-like look to him. Hatter figured he was up to no good which was only reaffirmed with the hand in the cookie jar look on his face when their eyes met. Hatter merely shook his head and stepped around him. "Excuse me," he said and stepped confidently through the mirror.

Oysters always hated this journey, whether they were coming or going, they always described it as a nasty, disorienting experience. Hatter loved it. It was like a shock of cold water all over, only without the wetness. It was like falling, only it felt as if he was falling down and up at the same time. There was a pressure like a strong wind, only it was breathtaking instead of getting the breath knocked out of you. All of that lasted only about ten seconds and then he was home…or was he?

Hatter stepped slowly from the portal behind him and removed his hat as he glanced around apprehensively. There was no one guarding the looking glass, nor was there anyone else around for that matter. Everything was silent and even though he treaded as softly as he could, his steps seemed as loud as if he had been stomping. The décor in the room was significantly darker than he had remembered, but that only set the stage for what came next.

Hatter looked down the hallways to his left and right before reaching the double doors ahead of him, perpendicular to the looking glass. He looked out of the small windows and frowned deeply. When the Red Queen was running the show, Wonderland looked pretty desolate and despairing. This was worse. It was day but the clouds above him were black as night. There were flashes of lightning as far as he could see and when a loud roll of thunder shook the floor beneath him, he jumped a bit in surprise. The vegetation that had grown back looked more the worse for wear and also…angry?

What had happened to his home? When he had left everyone was so full of hope and rebirth. He had a very bad feeling that Jack's reign had gone very, _very_ wrong.


	2. Chapter 2

Hatter could not help but wonder where everyone had gone off to. The palace had undergone major renovations since he had been there last, running through the maze-like halls with Alice at his side. The white and grey asylum-like corridors were now dark as night besides the barely lit candles in sconces lining the walls. The silence inside was enhanced by the storm outside and he felt a foreboding chill run up his spine.

Despite the fact that there seemed to be no one around, Hatter made his way quietly down the halls, peering into rooms as he passed. At one point he reached a door that led outside and saw card guards facing away, still as statues. While he wanted to know what was happening, a feeling in his gut told him that it would be trouble to ask those fine fellows. Red Queen or no, something bad was happening in Wonderland and he wasn't in a rush to get himself involved.

Music suddenly poured from seemingly everywhere, making Hatter jump with his fist at the ready. When it was clear he wasn't being ambushed, he brought his hand to his chest and breathed heavily. The song was a soft melody that sounded slow and nostalgic. The music was louder where he was headed to begin with so he kept on, going a little faster now that his steps were not echoing around him. The corridor led into a small hall that ended at two large, ornate doors in which the music sounded like it must have been coming from. He could see shadows through the windows and underneath the doors. He made to step forward but he was immediately grabbed by the throat and pushed against the wall.

"What is your business here?" an unmistakable voice asked threateningly. Hatter rolled his eyes and held up his hands.

"Charlie! Let go of me, you overgrown piece of tin!" Hatter strangled out in protest. The Knight quickly moved one hand over Hatter's mouth and a finger to his own lips.

"What are you doing here, Vassal? If you're seen by anyone…if it is made known that _I_ know that you are here-" Charlie started but was unable to finish as they heard footsteps coming from behind the double doors. He promptly shoved Hatter behind a large curtain and stood at attention just before Jack Heart opened the door, looking furious.

"What is going on out here, Charlie? You know Alice and I need uninterrupted time together," Jack said. Hatter fumed. He had _just_ left her and she was crawling back to Jack already? He wondered how she even got there before him as he had gone straight from the apartment to the looking glass.

"Apologies, my liege," Charlie's chin trembled making the hair on his chin quiver dramatically, "I had received a message from the beyond of impending doom…" Charlie went on theatrically until Jack held up his hands for him to stop. He looked completely exasperated standing there in his blood-red suit, shaking his head at Charlie.

"Just see to it that you and the beyond keep the noise to a minimum," Jack said before making his way back through the double doors. Hatter immediately followed him and peered through one of the small windows. Sure enough, Alice was standing in the middle of the large ballroom waiting for Jack. His chest started to ache. She looked exactly like she had when she was in Wonderland last. The blue dress with the tights and boots were the same and even her hair was clipped back the way it was before. Jack approached her, kissed her cheek while taking her hand and they started to talk. Hatter felt like he was going to be sick until Charlie spoke up, almost forgotten across the room.

"It's not her," Charlie said softly with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"What do you mean it's not her? I have eyes, Charlie," Hatter snapped, not amused by Charlie's strange attempts to make him feel better.

"Then you best use them!" Charlie snapped back, "Look closer."

Hatter was annoyed but did as he was told. They were dancing now, swinging around in some kind of waltz he supposed. He wasn't worried about being seen as the room was so dark so when they passed the window he looked closer at Alice. His breath caught in his throat—it wasn't her! She was the same height and build with the same hair and eye color and the same heart-shaped face; but her eyes were not as large and vulnerable looking, her nose not as prominent, and her mouth stood out in a small pout that his Alice did not have.

Hatter backed up to a wall and breathed before a small grin came to his face. It wasn't her, not that it would have mattered in the long run. But then something came to him and he sat forward, turning his attention to Charlie again.

"What kind of sick game is he playing at?" Hatter asked.

Charlie came closer to him and looked around as if afraid someone might hear him. "Sick—I'm afraid—is quite the understatement when it comes down to it," Charlie whispered. Hatter felt suddenly apprehensive, not used to seeing Charlie look so run-down and troubled.

"Charlie, tell me what's going on here-" Hatter started but Charlie pushed him behind the curtain again as both Jack and not-Alice came through the double doors. Jack was fuming about something that must have happened in the ballroom while Hatter and Charlie were talking. Jack had her by the arm and he dragged her into the room and toward the halls opposite them.

"Charlie," not-Alice addressed him with a small smile, looking amused at Jack's anger as she was dragged away. Charlie bowed in response before she was wrenched out of sight.

"Come, vassal," Charlie beckoned as he fell in behind her and Jack, "Don't let anyone see you."

"Charlie, you _really_ need to quit calling me that," Hatter seethed as he followed him.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I own nothing but my original character, thankyoumuch. Lovelies, constructive criticism is appreciated and knowing that people are reading is also a plus. Also need some ideas for a name for not-Alice if anyone has any ideas? Let me know :)

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><p>Hatter hid in a vacant room around the corner where Jack stopped to push not-Alice into her own. He heard the woman scream in anger after Jack but he was already heading back the way they came with Charlie on his tail; Charlie looking around desperately for Hatter but not seeing him in time before they were out of sight. Hatter turned around let his head fall against the door as he twirled his hat around a finger in thought. He wondered if he should continue following Charlie until he could get him alone or try to see what this Alice look-alike was up to.<p>

Impulsive and stupid though it may have seemed, he chose the latter and looked out the window quickly before making his way to her door. He needed to know what was going on but he had a few choice questions for her as well. The door was large and metal with a sliding slot, resembling a prison cell from back in Alice's world. He slid the slot open as slowly as he could but it gave out a high-pitched whine that immediately alerted her to his presence. He could see her at the far end of the room trying to unzip her dress and it took no more than a second for her to grab a large glass vase and chuck it his way. Hatter ducked in reflex and bit his lip to keep from yelling out as the glass shattered on the door, bits flying out of the slot.

"Get out of here before I reach through there and rip your throat out, you stupid card!" she cried threateningly and the tone in her voice didn't make him doubt for a second that she would try.

"I'm not a card, I swear! I just wanted to…to…I don't know-" he started desperately.

"Just wanted to what? Perv on me just like everyone else in this damn place?" she screamed.

He tried to hush her at first with a finger to his lips but then stomped his foot at her allegation, glaring steadily through the small opening in the door. "You have a lot of nerve calling me a pervert when you're sitting here dressed as another woman, playing house with the King of Wonderland like a couple of weird fetish freaks."

She stepped slowly towards the door, her face immediately flushing and becoming almost maroon by the time she reached him. "Does it _look_ like I'm having a good time in here? Does it _look_ like I can just walk out of here whenever I damn well please? Does it _look_ like I want to be here?" she screamed again and slammed her fists on the door, causing Hatter to falter and step back. Her powder-blue eyes sparkled out at him in anger and frustration, threatening tears.

"Good point. You're not here because…" he stuttered.

"No! Whatever you're thinking, no! What the hell is wrong with you? Who the hell are you? Where have you been?" she asked, looking at him like he was simple, stupid, or possibly both.

"I haven't been…here. I haven't been in Wonderland for a long while now," he confessed regretfully, "Tell me what's going on here."

She seemed to calm slightly as she let loose her hard stance against the door and crossed her arms. She blatantly ignored his request. "Who are you?" she asked.

He hesitated, not knowing whether or not he should be telling her after what Charlie had so vaguely gleaned to him earlier. He didn't know what was going on and he didn't want any trouble for himself or the crazed knight; but something about the way she was looking at him made him think he needed to. That it was important.

"Hatter," he nodded and smirked to hide his nervousness. Her eyes immediately lit up in recognition of his name and she ran forward, wrapping her fingers outside of the slot. A smile of relief spread across her face and it was like a 180 and she was a completely different woman.

"I was afraid the Duchess had sent you to provoke me enough to slip up. But I've heard of you, Charlie has told me stories. Jack Heart wants your head on a platter, you shouldn't be here," she warned.

"I'm aware," Hatter looked around as if the mention of it had suddenly set him on edge. "Are you hurt?" he asked out of the blue, pointing to her fingernails which were rimmed in blood. She smiled that sarcastic smile he first saw when she first stepped out of the ballroom and pulled her hands away from the door.

"No, it's Jack's blood. He got a little too handsy earlier and I managed to scratch him. That's why I thought the Duchess had sent you…" she stopped suddenly as steps could be heard coming down the corridor toward Hatter. He froze.

"Find me again and I'll tell you everything, Hatter. Don't go back to Charlie; he's in enough trouble as it is for helping me. Go, I'll stall them," she rushed him and stuck her arm through the door. As Hatter took off he could hear her slapping the door and screaming obscenities at the unfortunate soul who had gone near her cell.

He smiled for the first time in what seemed like forever. She was positively the most absurd woman he had ever met.


End file.
